How NOT to make a sex tape

Swimming for sex tapes on the internet that doesn’t feature celebrities isn’t as hard a teenage boy at an all woman nudist colony. I filed through several amateur videos to bring you something with piazzas, however, because most of you lack imagination, I wound up with several videos like the one posted here. Now I’ve never made a sex tape because I have some decency of not showing the world my cock – believe you me, ain’t nobody in this good earth who wants to see that – but I do know a thing or two about the art of fucking and many of you don’t seem to know that.

While we love to think that the thing that gets us off while watching a fuck flick is the nice teenage pussy in front of us that is not the case. However, the fact that the movie actually has depth – meaning, camera angles and direction – really gets us off. If you just set up your webcam/mini DV on a surface and let it roll, well you’re going to come up with something that is really still and boring. After a few minutes of the same angle, people start to wonder if you know what the fuck you’re really doing.

Take the Paris Hilton sex tape for example. Notice how the schmuck held the camera at times, rather than just leave it somewhere and pray to Allah that it was going to give him a decent shot. Now even Jesus couldn’t give you better advice. Hold the camera, don’t be afraid. And if you’re really into the whole exhibitionist thing, then call up a buddy and say, “Hey, my girl and I are planning to shoot a fuck flick. Do you mind manning the camera?” Now, if you’re buddy isn’t a flaming homo, then this shouldn’t be a problem, unless you’re girl’s a hag. And in which case, that probably wouldn’t be a problem either.

Want more advice? Watch a POV flick anywhere on the internet, or a self made, yet nicely done porn flick by a celebrity of choice or your favorite online couple. Not to mention investing in some editing software so perhaps you can just position the camera elsewhere and add a nice transition from shot to shot, position to position. However, if you’re just making the video for yourself, then by all means, be as boring as you want.