Big Cock

Like omg! You won’t believe what I saw when I got home from work this afternoon. It was so gross that I nearly passed out. Seriously, who knew mother’s still had sex or gave blow jobs? I thought sex was over for my mother when she left Dad, but when I walked in the house and saw her there sucking off this guy that I went to high school with, I thought I was going to die. But I could see why she was all over him, I mean, the guy had a huge cock and all I could think of after I confronted her about it was how much I wanted his dick shoved up my pussy. Funny how things work out in the end.

I had a dream like this once. Only I wasn’t one of the guys, just an onlooker. Perhaps I was a god. I mean it was my dream, right? And who says that all sexual dreams you have must contain you? I’ve had many dreams where my lovers were munching down on the muffs of other women. I even dreamt that my girlfriend was getting rammed in her pussy and ass by two men who would put me to shame. It’s the whole eroticism of seeing your woman (or man, depending on your gender and sexuality) getting fucked by someone else. Don’t tell me that you haven’t thought of it.

It’s a sad stereotype that all men want another woman when it comes to a threesome. Which is weird, considering that most porn contains MFM threesomes. Not to mention gangbang sex clips. But sometimes you want a little variety. Sure, watching your woman fucking some other dick is hot, but what about you? If your girl’s all for anal, then kudos, best of both worlds. But if she doesn’t, it can leave you aroused and waiting and who wants sloppy seconds? I suppose that’s why swingers have it all figured out. Add in another woman and a man, and then you really have something going. Something the both of you will be satisfied with.

I’m sure when your girlfriend or wife says she wants a facial, she doesn’t mean she want several guys with large cocks splooging on her face. And if you do, you have quite the woman in your hands and I salute you in any way possible –unless you’re not into that, then I feel quite sorry for you. Watching cock after cock cumming on her face tickles me inside. No idea why.

I suppose it takes a special girl to sit/kneel there and let several men shoot her face with their dicks. I haven’t met that girl yet, or calculated the right price. Women, I tell you.

Maybe she does it to upset Daddy, or maybe she has her reasons for only fucking black men. Could it be for the most misconceived “fact” that once you go black you never go back? Or is it the myth that hangs (no pun intended) around the almighty black cock? Whatever the case, the young nymph seeks her prey – though I wouldn’t really call the suckers her prey because they are far from victims – at the bars, clubs, hell, even the mall. She drags them home, seduces them even more and then starts blowing their dicks until the shots of pearl white cum splatter on her face, ooze down her throat. In some cases, and they aren’t rare cases, she fucks them and lets their gobs of spunk slither out of her tight white pussy. Either way, it makes for a beautiful interracial photograph that will keep you shooting your load for days to come. Take a look.

Ever since watching the first episode of Californication, I’ve wanted to fuck a nun. But a hot nun, not one of the old nasty looking women of the cloth. There’s just something promising about a young woman who is told she can never had a hard cock (or any cock for that matter) shoved deep into her wet pussy. And that she can never finger herself or inject anything foreign into her cooch, either. Sexually deprived people are the most likely to jump on someone the moment the opportunity arises. And here I thought Catholic school girls were the horniest of the bunch. Nuns, the young ones anyway and all I care for, must be fucking mad when it comes down to sucking cock, riding cock, doing all things with cock.

That’s it, I must now find a young (at least in her thirties) nun to shove my dick into.

How comfortable do you have to be with your sexuality when she says she wants both cocks inside her precious hole at once? Normally, fucking is fucking to me and I’m perfectly comfortable with two dicks in her mouth, as long as one of those dicks is mine. There other guy, however, seemed a little unsettled by it.

“It’s not gay,” the girl said. “It’s only gay if he’s fucking you.”

“But still.”

“Dude,” I said. “You’re passing up cunt because you’re afraid of dicks touching? How old are you?”

He answered. Perhaps intelligence doesn’t come with age. But I don’t care as long as his cock stays away from my orifices. Two cocks touching in a MFM threesome is a common thing. It cannot be avoided. What can be avoided is a cock in the wrong ass or mouth. It takes a while until we coax him into giving in.

“See, there’s nothing gay about it,” she says as she slips us inside her. The extra cock gives her cunt an extra sense of tightness. “You fucking like it, right?”

But the guy’s too enchanted with her pussy to even respond.

Everyone’s talking about the Verne Troyer sex tape and I’m no different. Since the first time I heard Mini Me was going to pull out his Mini Me dick and put in it a not-so-Mini-Me cunt, I had to jump all over that. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.

Now I’m not sure what the big hoo-hah is with the celebrity sex tape – I remember being one of the first people in my clique who watched the Paris Hilton sex clip and was more intrigued by the way her eyes looked in night vision than her performance of a fellatio on her lover’s cock (which, by the way, is the star of the whole movie, not Paris, despite how gay that may sound). But Verne Troyer? Really? That guy gets laid? I don’t want to be the sort of person who just assumes the little guy doesn’t get any pussy, but seriously?! What the fuck?!

I’m sure E!’s all over this and a Verne Troyer reality series is now in the works. Because isn’t that how most of E!’s reality shows get started? With a sex tape?

This is how I imagine the sex tape to look like. Enjoy:

I was born at the end of the golden age of porn, which is depressing when you’re a person like me. I started watching porn accidentally, but I won’t get into that. I was still sexually confused after my first session of masturbation while watching two hard and long men fucking every orifice of a young blonde woman with just a tuff of blonde pubic hair. And this is more an ode to pubic hair than anything else. While a lot of you men out there like stroking off to barely legal bald pussy, I’m still romanticizing the bush – the 70’s bush.

What a pleasure is it to see men splooging onto the thick carpet of a woman’s cunt. My girlfriends shaved, all but one that is. I worshipped her hairy snatch – don’t get me wrong, she did trim and cut, but never went bald. I loved to go down on her, and while a stray pube might wind up in my mouth, I think I was worth it. Like Hank Moody (Californication character) wrote in a blog, I like to know that the woman I’m fucking is indeed a woman.

Sadly, however, this clip fails to provide me my desires.

Her ass – big and round, perfectly shaped, jiggling as she walked – was what most men noticed in the gym. I know, because among the ones commenting was me. I could feel the growth already taking hold of the head of my cock, turning it purple. Luckily, however, I got to take her home while the other men had to go home to stroke off or fuck their wives while fantasizing about mine.

“Fuck me,” she said. “I want you to fuck me hard like those men ogling me. Like you were ogling me.”

“Anal?” I asked, hoping my hard, huge cock would get to slide in between those luscious ass cheeks and feel the tightness of her asshole.

“You wish.”

However, a young Christian girl attending one of the most prestigious – not to mention religious – campuses in this country and this great state of Texas getting filled up by cocks galore is quite possibly the most interesting thing on my mind. I only wished I was around to witness something as miraculous as seeing such a bright young thing getting defiled by splooge dripping from her face. I suppose my time will come (no pun intended) sooner or later, but until then I will have to continue stroking off to the image of a good girl gone bad.

In the words of my friend: “The best thing about Christian girls is that when they fall, they fall right onto your cock.” Amen.